Tuesday, June 18, 2013


Dear Kanye - sorry I mean GOD - how are you?
Your new album is g.o.o.d. so I assume you must be?
I liked your performance on SNL
Are you actually that cranky?
I sometimes wonder how rich people can be so cranky when they're like... really rich...
But you don't have friends do you God?
Being all "ahead of the curve" means people are still stuck around the bend huh?
Well I like your album, so far.
I mean I haven't given it a totally great listen but Black Skinhead is mean.
You do 'mean' well.
And I think you mean well.
Nice one God. New Slaves is great.
People critique everything huh?
I mean, you ARE a bit of a douche-ball-in-a-sack-of-shit-fairy-floss-maker when you're doing anything except make music. But I like that you know that. I assume you know that right? That you'll always be one of the greatest artists of our time? But not a great person?

How's Kim? She looks good. I saw her last night, and today, and on the radio, in the magazines. She had the baby the other day and she's already dropped 20 kg! I can't wait to read about how she did it tomorrow.
Don't you guys have any secrets?
Like that you enjoy when you first stick your toes into some Ugg boots? Before the sweat starts to clam em up? Do you think about what it would be like to head-butt an orangutang? I do. Or do you have a particular star that always seems to grab your attention? I saw a grasshopper today, do you notice grasshoppers God? Grasshoppers will never buy your album God. Never.
Do they still count?

I'm going to listen to it again and do some writing.
I can be God too.
I can be a better God than you.
And then our fans can have wars.
I mean GOD!
You are not God.
I don't even know if there is God, but I guess if there was a God and it was you that would probably be more believable. At least you're DEFINITELY fucked up. Not like this "perfect God" that keeps being spouted at us. I'd rather believe in a fucked up God that wears all his neurosis on his sleeve (even if he doesn't see it) than some... urgg douche that is always fucking right even when he's wrong... (satan? meant to do that. sunday? meant to do that. see how everything's fucked? meant to do that to test your faith... yep... meant to do everything...)

I like your album not-God-Kanye.
Keep up the good work.
Have a break now. Write a poem. Go for a swim. Eat a biscuit. It'll be good for you.

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